Living With Regret by Jong Lisa de

Author:Jong, Lisa de [Jong, Lisa de]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Young Adult, Fiction, Contemporary, Romance
Amazon: B00OFHPIR4
Goodreads: 23360693
Published: 2014-10-11T07:00:00+00:00

September 22, 2013

THE SUMMER BREEZE BLOWS through my hair as I drive to work with my car window down. I’ve been at the flower shop for a week now, and it’s starting to feel more and more like something normal. Like just another place I go without even thinking about it.

And Sam, I see him everyday, too. Sometimes we meet at the lake and other times we meet in the fields. Being with him has given me hope, but it’s also made me feel conflicted.

Things aren’t serious, by any means, but he says stuff that alludes to something deeper, more meaningful. It’s not that I don’t think it’s a possibility; it just scares the shit out of me. When you open your heart to someone, you also open it to the possibility of heartbreak. That’s what I’m most afraid of now; I lived through it once, and I’m not willing to open myself to it again. Not yet.

There hasn’t been a single day that I haven’t thought about Cory, but as time goes on, the weight on my heart lessens. The pain eases. The guilt still lives inside me, and the thought of him often brings sadness, but I’m able to look back at some memories and smile. And every single day, I find that I’m forgiving myself a little more.

Pulling in front of the flower shop, I glance up at the black and white striped canopy. Taking this job has been the best decision. It’s given me a purpose. It was never my life’s ambition to work with flowers on a daily basis, but I love it. For the most part, my job is to make people happy, and it’s more fulfilling than any other job I could have gotten in this small town.

When I walk in, the shop is empty, which usually means that Ms. Peters is busy working in the back. She’s always swamped, especially on Fridays and Saturdays, because of weddings. Sometimes, when I have a few minutes of downtime between deliveries and helping her prep flowers, I watch her arrange flowers into beautiful bouquets. She mixes colors that I’d never think to put together, but they always looks amazing. She has a talent for seeing things that other people can’t.

The other day she had some flowers she was going to throw out because they were starting to wilt. I stepped in and asked if I could play with them instead. It took me a couple hours, but I created an arrangement of lavender and burnt yellow roses. Those are the colors I imagined using for my wedding … they remind me of the flowers that grow in the fields.

Opening the door to the backroom, I see Ms. Peters assembling flower wreaths. The colors are deep and rich, very much like what you’d expect in autumn.

“Hey, Rachel. How was your weekend?”

“Good,” I say, tucking my hands into my jean pockets. “What’s on the list for today?”

She cuts the stem off a red rose, carefully filling in a gap on the wreath.

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